Recent Thoughts

I have been through many things since the last blog here.

1. Friends... dear dear friends from Hong Kong and Macau visited me. Oh, how i miss them! i didn't realized until i have to be parted with them AGAIN. my tears just dropped uncontrollably.

I thank God for meeting them. With them, i can be myself. I know my own weaknesses. I can learn to accept it when i am with them and learn that they are that sort of people that give me most comfort. They accepts the me... the me with many weaknesses. What a comforting thoughts!

2. I have started to teach. I am teaching a mixture of subjects. Because of this, i can be more relax as i do not have to prepare too much and mark too much. I teach form4 Mathematics, form 2 and form 5 trash and treasure --> basically art class (using recycle stuffs) and form 1 Chinese communication. Hence, because of the only chinese communication class, i learn more about chinese culture again =) i am so glad about it.

3. I started to read Sense and Sensibility this holidays. So, i guess i might as well finished the whole book. My aim this year is to read many books.

4. So happened that my aunty gave me a Hong Kong drama series. I watched and loved it very much. Some of the content reminded me of Mathematics again! The Law of Large Number! amazing! and i am beginning to find that i actually like detective type of stories. Especially when the drama series/novel/comics does give me more knowledge.

5. I had followed a novel for some time, and it ended up that the novel is an on going stories. So i have to wait again. There is another comic too, ended up the same. Anyway it is good as well. haha

6. i am beginning to find that i should start writing more letters. So i set up a letter system at home since now the system had long been corrupted. So, next week i will be sending out two letters! Hoorays!

So far, this is some of the things about me and what had happened. I wish i can update more =) anyway, i want to wish all my friends a blessed day always because there is a God who really love us.

Franz Schubert - Impromptu in B-flat Major, Op.142 no. 3

this is somebody's favourite...

He promised that i will like it.

it sounds a little melancholic to me though. hehe

something to be reminded today

I am the righteousness in Chris Jesus therefore, by His strips I am healed =) Isaiah 53:4

my first day without a routine

this morning, i woke up and read bible.
Actually i was being lazy because i knew i slept too much.
how do i know that i slept to much:

check: if i had dreams. I dun usually have dreams. In fact, i dun like having one. =)
If i have dreams it means that i had slept too much.

Then, i went online. I played game, facebook my friends. I am not sure how and why, i can just pass the 2 hours before i start to doing something. I guess it's because of all those games.
oh yea, right, i read newspaper!!! seriously reading it. Well, for most part of it, i just skip. Even the discussion column is not worth reading, in my own opinion.

After breakfast, then i studied a bit of japanese. The progress is slow. But, i am satisfied. At least i did improve on it.
Somehow time flies, before long, i needed to go out to pass Oyster Card to my teacher!
So, there i go. After chatting a while with my teacher, i went back to cook!
yes, i am glad my mum did not cook my lunch. Well, then i get to cook my lunch which is porridge! It had been long since i cook.

I finished my lunch while watching an anime movie =P and then i proceed to watch movie and at the same time iron clothes.
I find that it's a relaxing day!

oh yea, in the morning, i phone up a centre to get a part time job. Here it goes, the amazing things:
I informed the receptionist that i wanted to apply for a part time job. She asked me to go to interview. I was very brave to even bargain the time for the interview =P
and know what? at first, she said interview, then because of the time problem. i managed to arranged it to Wednesday. She then said, all she wants to do is to brief me with the job nature, ie what to do and how to do, then i can start working in July! (did i hear wrongly???, dunno. the answer will only reveal on Wednesday evening. Wish me best! )
After the conversation, i think i am really blessed.

on my way to school, so happened that the sermon that i read was about blessings!
yes, thank God for all the blessings! the comanded blessings that will overtake me so that i dun even have place to hide it! =)

a de tour to library during my lunch time + random quote

read this somewhere:

親情是一帖特效藥，無論大病小病身心不適，24小時都情願為你有效。

so... because i am preparing for exam and it's a little bored... Therefore i decide to write something down. Something that i experienced a few minutes ago and my random thoughts.

Today, i decided to return a book that is going to due tomorrow. As i guess i will be quite lazy to return it to library as it is not very convenient, so i decided to return it when i had my lunch. I actually had to make a de tour to the library since it is situated in a very inconvenient location. So, there i went, trying to wear something that will not make me looks sexy, ie at least knee length shorts, big T-shirts so that a lot of my body parts covered.

On my way to the library, suddenly a lecturer say hi to me. I was wondering why, but still accepts it and returned with a smile. No sooner then i realized that the lecturer was unhappy with my attire and asked: "Are you sure they will let you in?". There.. there... i actually had forgotten how strict they are, in spite of my effort, trying to follow. Apparently, the biggest problem is my shoes! i was wearing a sandals. Argh, how could i forgotten such a big things!

To me, library should be a place that makes me comfortable. Maybe that is because i had experienced a library that give me a lot of liberty, so i had that opinion. Then, i linked it with the responsibilities and roles of library to encourage people to read. I wasn't a person who is library lovers. Why? I asked myself. I ponder about it.

Then, i got my answer. A great factor was because the library does not gives me home-like feel. I like to go to my University Library except during exam time when i cannot find a place to study. But, since i went to UK, i had started to like library because it is such a good sources of knowledge. When i first came back, i really had a trouble with the local library that i am using currently. This is because the system wasn't user-friendly, the librarians are not friendly and sometimes i can say, pretty rude, the unreasonable rules etc.

Hai, surely, i want a nice library and a library that makes people grow to like them itself. I suddenly thought of something that i can do at school next time =)

random thoughts

today.. i feel that i have many things to say:

1. i do not like the 'loud speaker' in my block. i wish that there is a switch that i can mute 'it'. The loud speaker just talk without consideration. Even around midnight. if the whole blocks belongs to her only, i do not mind. But the Loud Speaker does not seems to understand that there are people prefer silent night! i do not understand why. They should get a walkie talkie. It is not the time to practice how to throw the voice in dormitory, or is this another culture shock to me that people prefer this style now?
2. Why people just talk about nonsense and without proof. They just present the things in a way that they want and without seriously knowing what the things meant. And so the innocent audiences are influenced and get the wrong message. I will be very glad if nobody actually listens.
3. What does high performance means? I thought high performance is not just about nice looking, good packaging but rather it is about how efficient the 'engine' works. How much things can be done with the same inputs will determine how 'high' the performance is. However, it seems like nowadays people are too influenced by the advertisement and becomes advertisement itself. Many a times, just nonsense and inaccurate things are 'advertised'. The real core things are left behind or unmentioned or hidden somewhere. I do not like this 'advertisement world'.
4. Have people nowadays think about why they want to do certain things? it seems like not many. all they want is just people has it, then i will have it as well. I must admit, i did the same things sometimes, however i do actually will reflect on it. In this era when the information is overloading everyday, actually have people really consider how many rubbish actually coming to us each and everyday? Many people has this idea that if it is something that many people talks about, it is true, not knowing the nature of such rumours, statements or fact. So, i am thankful to International Baccalaureate where i was exposed to Theory of Knowledge which is helping me everyday in analyzing my input.
5. I learn many things today. i was happy to know certain facts. Congratulations to my beloved 'organization' where i spent 5 of my golden years, where i grew up and where i wished to continue to contribute to. You are the best. Congratulations to unmentioned, unnoticed 'machines' where i see that you are the best. I witness your 'packaging' and heard of your 'hard work' from very reliable source and certain of your 'power'. You guys are great. I 'admired' you and i love you. Do try your best and prove to the world!

holidays

this holidays been a happening one =)

first week: brother is hospitalized, so the whole week travelling between hospital and home. i did steal some time in between to do my work

second week: at home doing works. Basically didn't go anywhere

third week: went to a conference. did not really enjoy it but i get to meet up my best male friend. so i was really happy. We get the time to spend together, though in a very weird situation. Thank God that the friend was around, to cheer me up.

fourth week: went down to KL to attend a wedding dinner. I met up with my best female friend. We went around shopping. I met up with one of my seniors who is dear to me. I am so glad that I had that opportunity to be with her. She wasn't in a situation where she can share her feelings at that time with anybody. It was God's arrangement for us to meet up to share our problems to each others. After that i went down to Singapore. There, I met up with Univerisity friends as well as my secondary school mates. I missed all of them very much. It was really great to reunion again. I wish more opportunities coming up =)

fifth week: At first, i didn't dare to go anywhere, but at the end, i signed up for BB camps as well. Well, i am not very interested to join the camp. I rather hope to observe and learn from them. Indeed, there were lots of things to be learnt. It was an eye opener to me =)

sixth week: Basically, work, work and work. I did read up a bit on the quizzes that are coming up. But it seems like not helping at all when the real quiz came in January second week...

anyway, i think all in all, my holidays was a filled one. I met many friends who are dear to me and get to spend time with them and get to know more about them. Especially those two whom i really hold close to my heart! Forever is the time that i want to use to get to know more about you!

more updates next time ... hehe

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some annoying feeling

Today when i study, i was a little unhappy when i know that my study buddy didn't share with me what he understands where i had joted down things that i do not understand. But, i think it wasn't his fault because he might not know where i didn't understand. But, i would really hope that he would want to share with me and let me have a think over it since it was something that i haven't master. Most of the time, at this moment, i will think, let's not share with him the next time when he does not understand. This is natural reaction that i have. I wasn't even able to concentrate in my study and that is why now i am writing up my blog. =) i need to express out the unhappiness and forget this stupid and unhelpful feelings so that i can continue with my joyful day.

i wish i can shout out! anyway, a good way will be focus on my God and to praise and worship him rather than focus on my stupid and sillly thought =)

May our life improves everyday.

Be grateful when dinner is provided.

民國七十四年夏天，我借調沙烏地阿拉伯農業水利服務團。該團在沙國首都利雅德有一個團部，住了十多位團員。除了團長以外，每位團員都必須輪流處理宿舍內務、清洗保養汽車及擔任伙委。團員們除了正常上班外，下班後還必須做這些雜務，可說苦不堪言。

我在台灣從沒下過廚，到了沙國後，跟在幾位前輩身後學了些一招半式，混過幾次伙委。想不到春節那一星期又輪到我當伙委，更糟的是，團長還邀請我國駐沙國大使（當時兩國還有邦交）及漁技團朋友聚餐，這下子濫竽充數的我就要露出馬腳了。

所幸團員們知道我的困難，主動幫忙，台電的鄭某幫我炒「蔥爆牛肉」、徐某用竹筍罐頭炒個大雜燴，民航局的唐某煮拿手菜「紅燒雞」，我自己則炒一盤高麗菜、做了魚丸蘿蔔湯，還有洋蔥炒蝦。

這是我第一次沒跟家人吃年夜飯，不知是「每逢佳節倍思親」，還是切洋蔥的關係，又或者是既委屈又感激，我流著淚，迷濛著眼煮完年菜。

平常團員們為了各種開支常爭得面紅耳赤，但除夕那一晚，在大家的幫忙下，我完成幾乎沒想過的艱難任務，如釋重負，真正鬆了一大口氣。

隔天還要上班，我還要準備十多位團員的早餐，因此沒有「守歲」，十點多就上床。

我躺在床上，想念台灣的妻兒，想到未出國前，太太天天為我準備晚餐，我卻從未說聲「謝謝」。

有人願意為你煮飯，真的要感恩呀！

lately been reading a lot of articles. this remind of my secondary school time. every morning i will search for the newspaper around 6.20am and finished reading articles before going to take school bus to school. On sunday, we have special mini edition which is full of articles. I rarely like to read the normal news. newspaper is 我的精神粮食, but that does not refer to daily news. I am more interested to read articles post others about their experiences and what they had learned in their daily lifes.

Here, i am really touched and it reminds me to be grateful when dinner is provided! Thank God for my wonderful housemate as well for the housemates that i have now whom i really loved.

Planned many things

After planning to attend so many activities in my term 2, suddenly i am attacked with anxious. However, i know i should focus on study as well.

So I will just pray and strive for the best to finish what i have planned.

Yes, i always encouraged people to pray about their planned, however, i seldom do it myself.

But, thanks to the attack, i can now apply what i believe =)

Stretching today! Yes doing stretching and exercise is what i really enjoy.

Good day!

Funny title

種草莓的滋味

【聯合報╱林立婕】
2009.01.11 03:09 am

去年底，我在補習班上國一國文課程時，出一道作文題目「╳╳的滋味」，讓學生寫作文。學生看了，第一個反應是：「那有沒有『○○的滋味』？」「可以寫『△△的滋味』嗎？」淘氣的學生覺得自己舉一反三，但有何不可？

在一群十三、四歲學生腦力激盪下，我們的作文題目出現了「西瓜汁的滋味」、「葡萄汁的滋味」、「柳橙汁的滋味」、「夏天的滋味」、「過年的滋味」、「青春的滋味」等。

突然間，有個男學生賊賊的笑道：「種草莓的滋味。」班上學生一聽，有的爆出笑聲，有些則投以詢問眼光。正巧，我們班有一個資優小朋友，她只有小學二年級，才九歲，她爸媽在她有意願的前提下，讓她進入補習班學習。

「老師，什麼是種草莓？」小女孩求知欲旺盛，而且謹慎地詢問我。我停了一下，班上學生卻竊竊私語。

「妳可以想像身體是一座果園，果園裡頭芳草鮮美，落英繽紛，有桃樹、李樹、杏樹等等，農人在這座廣大的果園中，種蓮霧、種芒果、種香蕉��當然也可種草莓囉（對不起了辛苦的務農人士，我知栽培不是這麼回事）。」

學生一時安靜，面面相覷。忽然有一個學生說：「才不是這個意思呢。」當然，後來我還是解釋了這個屬性激情的字眼，用非常無性的方式說：「就是妳的嘴巴碰到別人的脖子，因力道大了些，而讓對方脖子出現瘀青痕跡。」

「碰撞到別人的那個人，應該要說對不起啊。」小女生說。我笑笑、點頭。

後來，那個提議寫「種草莓的滋味」的男生，作文寫的是「愛情的滋味」，寫純純的情竇初開，文筆較同齡者佳。「你的作文寫得不錯，但你不怕被媽媽看到嗎？」我試探著問。

「我不會讓她看到的。」「如果我告訴你爸媽呢？」「老師，妳在恐嚇我嗎？」

男孩拿起鉛筆盒裡的美工刀，作勢割下愛情的內容。「別割了。」我阻止他，笑道：「我不會跟你爸媽說的。」

經過這次作文題目風波，我希望未來不會聽到「藍田種玉的滋味」。

喜欢vs爱

我发觉啊，有时候，我们会对喜欢大惊小怪。就当作是爱情里的冲动。
但是，我觉得喜欢很好啊，未必就是爱情里的感觉。我想爱情是从喜欢开始的。没有喜欢我们何来关心或留意身边的那个他？
我以前也疑惑过，为什么我同时可以喜欢几个人。男的、女的都有。
这两天，我才觉得，喜欢很自然。同时，喜欢两个人，或男或女，其实很正常。因为喜欢，至少对我来说，就是这样。
我们会因为喜欢他或她而更关心他们。会因为喜欢，花心机去讨他们欢心，希望他们也会喜欢我们。和他们在一起，很开心。我想，很多同性恋的人，多半因为是这样才认为他们同性恋吧。
我喜欢一个人，无论男女，都希望跟他们跟亲近。很多时候，我也想给他们一个拥抱，在他们不安且不开心时想用手心去安抚他们，给予安慰。很多时候，我们就会认为那是爱情。我们小时候，是不会像那么多的。
我其实，是上中学时，那些辅导学家说当你想有身体接触的时候，那才是爱情。但是啊，我后来觉得不是。爱情，应该更伟大。爱情，不一定要身体接触。爱，是一个决定。当神爱我时，那时上帝的决定。无论我真么坏，怎么不接纳神，上帝一样爱我。我想，这不是单纯的想法，这才是爱的原意。那些没有离婚的夫妇，难道他们就常年都有想要身体接触的吗？他们能白头偕老，其实是因为他们从心底就决定无论如何，他们一定要互相扶持，互相照顾。无论对方如何不是，如何不完美。那，其实是一个选择。
像我的朋友，他会因为喜欢我，而学习煮不同的菜肴，较之早前，他的厨艺更精湛。我们喜欢一个人的时候，常会反顾自己有什么地方可以进步的，不是吗？那是好事啊。
而且，可以喜欢一个人，是一种幸福。因为我们不知不觉中，学习了很多人生的功课，待人处世之道。

這一刻，好美

在長輩要推進病房前一刻，我看到對床探病的男人，大約快五十歲了吧，一進來看到床上那個年齡相仿的女人雙眼閉著在休息，只輕拉起她的被單替她蓋好，並輕撫她的頭髮、輕握她的手。然後，那個女人睜開眼，只是微微的笑，再繼續閉上眼休息。

好令我羨慕、好溫馨、好浪漫的一幕。不管他們是什麼關係，這一刻，好美。

i agree with that!

went to two church

Today is a special day. i went to two services today.
actually sometimes i do feel tired having to always meet others and concern about others.
I guess it is the corrupted nature of me that always wanting a sense of being loved by someone. That is why being single, i do always wish that somebody who really cares and loves me is with me. I will always be comforted when i focus on Jesus. Every morning, i think i need that kind of sense to continue to love others. There are times when i loose sight, that is when i became emotional and treated my friends bad.

I guess i learned a lot at church today. I learned from the conversation with friends and also from meditation over God's promises in the bible and thanksgiving to God. And, i am really glad that i prayed a lot today too.

left out activities

1. christmas carol service in coventry cathedral!
2. watching friends playing piano is an enjoyment
3. flute playing
4. anime watching (as always =p)

Recent activitis

although i would like to write in chinese, but due to time limitation, i should just write in English.
In this holidays, there were many sweet sweet memories that i really want to keep in my heart.

1. Skiing Trip to Val D'Isere : Ferry trip from Dover, coach trip all the way to Snow Mountain, view on the snow mountain, Learning ski from sifu, accident ski route from middle hill all the way down the mountain - going through tunnel, the two falling down with a dear friend besides me making me smile, the route where sifu teaches me how to balance my body during skiing, the meals during the trip, shopping trips before the trip etc
2. Cycling to coventry - eating the subway sandwich, bike broken and end up with walking back
3. Trip to Birmingham German Market - trying the mulled wine, observing a cool friend buying a present
4. Christmas meals: articulate, traditional christmas, the chat over meal, the short talk on history of king lineage of England and Europe, christmas presents opening and photo taking
5. 'Study camp' with friends : the cooking together, massaging, piano learning,playing violin pose photo taking, foot massaging, learning of massaging, badminton playing, swimming, tesco&Asda shopping trip, church going, nodame drama series watching, those chats, those

there are still many in my hearts. how i wish i have video and capture every moment of my life. What a blessing that i have, Thank you my Daddy God. =)
love you always

24 日

尤记得曾经每一年的今天，我都会出席一场音乐会。
而且是日本人的音乐会。好怀念过去的日子，因为那时的天真无邪，那时的朋友余余。
今年，我托朋友之福，也会出席一场音乐会。而且是合唱团和弦乐团的合演。但是，不同的是，它其实不应该被称为音乐会。因该是一个圣诞前夕的一个崇拜。
我想，我会期待今天的下午。
最近，温习的进度实在是令人失望。但是，我可以选择积极面对。希望，可以在进步多一些。终于，决定，下一个学期不会拿多科。而下学期，玩乐之余，也会努力温习第一学期的东西，因为时日无多，四月就大考。

差不多，新的一年又要到了。看见每个人都在检讨及思考新的一年的愿望及目标，我是否也因该想想呢？或许吧。今天，将会有两个小时的空闲时间，或许是好时机哦。

圣诞节的礼物

今早，一起身就看见桌上摆放了礼物，是给我的。

送礼者很细心，将礼物藏在圣诞卡的后面，让圣诞卡突出。我是看见了圣诞卡，才看见礼物的。好感动。

这不是我的第一份礼物。也不是我的第一份圣诞礼物。

还不晓得礼物是什么。受到时，就不是很想开启。不是因为我想拒绝那礼物，而是，我想将礼物还完美的在礼物的包装里时，珍惜它。包装一被开启时，总觉得好像失去了那因为神秘而来的完美。是我想太多，但是，总享受那种认为完美的感觉。

 

好久没有blog了。今天姑且写多一些。今天和朋友网上聊天，靠开心。忘了有多久我们没有见面，开心地聊天。我中三的同桌朋友，好想你。好想念我们曾经拥有的日子。知道吗，在你面前，我总可以毫无掩饰地表达自己。没有尴尬，没有害羞，只有诚心只为了分享而分享。

靜觀其變

昨天,跟朋友出去買滑雪必需品

這應該不是我的第一次早上九點許出門購物,但絕對是第一次在英國這麼做

很珍惜和朋友的這一趟購物

原先,我真的有點埋怨我的朋友

因為男裝部在樓上,女裝部在樓下,他們一到那兒時,就撇下我上樓去了

不過,過了一會兒,我倒覺得其實被撇下,或許不是很差

自己也開始慢慢地看不同的褲子,慢慢地研究

從褲子到手套,滑雪鏡,帽子到看了,但是還是沒有試穿任何衣物

後來,朋友下來了一會兒,然後才開始試穿

終於決定了幾便宜,又比較合身的褲子

在英國啊,能和我身的畢竟不多,希望那件褲子能耐穿(因為有些便宜)

其實,有時候,真不知道,自己想要怎樣

但是,我想我的耐性又增加了,最近發覺自己少了立即發脾氣,而是會沉着一下,靜觀其變

塞翁失馬,焉知非福

和朋友之間又多了一番回憶

這是我目前每一天要珍惜及感恩的