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some annoying feeling

Today when i study, i was a little unhappy when i know that my study buddy didn't share with me what he understands where i had joted down things that i do not understand. But, i think it wasn't his fault because he might not know where i didn't understand. But, i would really hope that he would want to share with me and let me have a think over it since it was something that i haven't master. Most of the time, at this moment, i will think, let's not share with him the next time when he does not understand. This is natural reaction that i have. I wasn't even able to concentrate in my study and that is why now i am writing up my blog. =) i need to express out the unhappiness and forget this stupid and unhelpful feelings so that i can continue with my joyful day.

i wish i can shout out! anyway, a good way will be focus on my God and to praise and worship him rather than focus on my stupid and sillly thought =)

May our life improves everyday.

Be grateful when dinner is provided.

民國七十四年夏天，我借調沙烏地阿拉伯農業水利服務團。該團在沙國首都利雅德有一個團部，住了十多位團員。除了團長以外，每位團員都必須輪流處理宿舍內務、清洗保養汽車及擔任伙委。團員們除了正常上班外，下班後還必須做這些雜務，可說苦不堪言。

我在台灣從沒下過廚，到了沙國後，跟在幾位前輩身後學了些一招半式，混過幾次伙委。想不到春節那一星期又輪到我當伙委，更糟的是，團長還邀請我國駐沙國大使（當時兩國還有邦交）及漁技團朋友聚餐，這下子濫竽充數的我就要露出馬腳了。

所幸團員們知道我的困難，主動幫忙，台電的鄭某幫我炒「蔥爆牛肉」、徐某用竹筍罐頭炒個大雜燴，民航局的唐某煮拿手菜「紅燒雞」，我自己則炒一盤高麗菜、做了魚丸蘿蔔湯，還有洋蔥炒蝦。

這是我第一次沒跟家人吃年夜飯，不知是「每逢佳節倍思親」，還是切洋蔥的關係，又或者是既委屈又感激，我流著淚，迷濛著眼煮完年菜。

平常團員們為了各種開支常爭得面紅耳赤，但除夕那一晚，在大家的幫忙下，我完成幾乎沒想過的艱難任務，如釋重負，真正鬆了一大口氣。

隔天還要上班，我還要準備十多位團員的早餐，因此沒有「守歲」，十點多就上床。

我躺在床上，想念台灣的妻兒，想到未出國前，太太天天為我準備晚餐，我卻從未說聲「謝謝」。

有人願意為你煮飯，真的要感恩呀！

lately been reading a lot of articles. this remind of my secondary school time. every morning i will search for the newspaper around 6.20am and finished reading articles before going to take school bus to school. On sunday, we have special mini edition which is full of articles. I rarely like to read the normal news. newspaper is 我的精神粮食, but that does not refer to daily news. I am more interested to read articles post others about their experiences and what they had learned in their daily lifes.

Here, i am really touched and it reminds me to be grateful when dinner is provided! Thank God for my wonderful housemate as well for the housemates that i have now whom i really loved.

Planned many things

After planning to attend so many activities in my term 2, suddenly i am attacked with anxious. However, i know i should focus on study as well.

So I will just pray and strive for the best to finish what i have planned.

Yes, i always encouraged people to pray about their planned, however, i seldom do it myself.

But, thanks to the attack, i can now apply what i believe =)

Stretching today! Yes doing stretching and exercise is what i really enjoy.

Good day!

Funny title

種草莓的滋味

【聯合報╱林立婕】
2009.01.11 03:09 am

去年底，我在補習班上國一國文課程時，出一道作文題目「╳╳的滋味」，讓學生寫作文。學生看了，第一個反應是：「那有沒有『○○的滋味』？」「可以寫『△△的滋味』嗎？」淘氣的學生覺得自己舉一反三，但有何不可？

在一群十三、四歲學生腦力激盪下，我們的作文題目出現了「西瓜汁的滋味」、「葡萄汁的滋味」、「柳橙汁的滋味」、「夏天的滋味」、「過年的滋味」、「青春的滋味」等。

突然間，有個男學生賊賊的笑道：「種草莓的滋味。」班上學生一聽，有的爆出笑聲，有些則投以詢問眼光。正巧，我們班有一個資優小朋友，她只有小學二年級，才九歲，她爸媽在她有意願的前提下，讓她進入補習班學習。

「老師，什麼是種草莓？」小女孩求知欲旺盛，而且謹慎地詢問我。我停了一下，班上學生卻竊竊私語。

「妳可以想像身體是一座果園，果園裡頭芳草鮮美，落英繽紛，有桃樹、李樹、杏樹等等，農人在這座廣大的果園中，種蓮霧、種芒果、種香蕉��當然也可種草莓囉（對不起了辛苦的務農人士，我知栽培不是這麼回事）。」

學生一時安靜，面面相覷。忽然有一個學生說：「才不是這個意思呢。」當然，後來我還是解釋了這個屬性激情的字眼，用非常無性的方式說：「就是妳的嘴巴碰到別人的脖子，因力道大了些，而讓對方脖子出現瘀青痕跡。」

「碰撞到別人的那個人，應該要說對不起啊。」小女生說。我笑笑、點頭。

後來，那個提議寫「種草莓的滋味」的男生，作文寫的是「愛情的滋味」，寫純純的情竇初開，文筆較同齡者佳。「你的作文寫得不錯，但你不怕被媽媽看到嗎？」我試探著問。

「我不會讓她看到的。」「如果我告訴你爸媽呢？」「老師，妳在恐嚇我嗎？」

男孩拿起鉛筆盒裡的美工刀，作勢割下愛情的內容。「別割了。」我阻止他，笑道：「我不會跟你爸媽說的。」

經過這次作文題目風波，我希望未來不會聽到「藍田種玉的滋味」。

喜欢vs爱

我发觉啊，有时候，我们会对喜欢大惊小怪。就当作是爱情里的冲动。
但是，我觉得喜欢很好啊，未必就是爱情里的感觉。我想爱情是从喜欢开始的。没有喜欢我们何来关心或留意身边的那个他？
我以前也疑惑过，为什么我同时可以喜欢几个人。男的、女的都有。
这两天，我才觉得，喜欢很自然。同时，喜欢两个人，或男或女，其实很正常。因为喜欢，至少对我来说，就是这样。
我们会因为喜欢他或她而更关心他们。会因为喜欢，花心机去讨他们欢心，希望他们也会喜欢我们。和他们在一起，很开心。我想，很多同性恋的人，多半因为是这样才认为他们同性恋吧。
我喜欢一个人，无论男女，都希望跟他们跟亲近。很多时候，我也想给他们一个拥抱，在他们不安且不开心时想用手心去安抚他们，给予安慰。很多时候，我们就会认为那是爱情。我们小时候，是不会像那么多的。
我其实，是上中学时，那些辅导学家说当你想有身体接触的时候，那才是爱情。但是啊，我后来觉得不是。爱情，应该更伟大。爱情，不一定要身体接触。爱，是一个决定。当神爱我时，那时上帝的决定。无论我真么坏，怎么不接纳神，上帝一样爱我。我想，这不是单纯的想法，这才是爱的原意。那些没有离婚的夫妇，难道他们就常年都有想要身体接触的吗？他们能白头偕老，其实是因为他们从心底就决定无论如何，他们一定要互相扶持，互相照顾。无论对方如何不是，如何不完美。那，其实是一个选择。
像我的朋友，他会因为喜欢我，而学习煮不同的菜肴，较之早前，他的厨艺更精湛。我们喜欢一个人的时候，常会反顾自己有什么地方可以进步的，不是吗？那是好事啊。
而且，可以喜欢一个人，是一种幸福。因为我们不知不觉中，学习了很多人生的功课，待人处世之道。

這一刻，好美

在長輩要推進病房前一刻，我看到對床探病的男人，大約快五十歲了吧，一進來看到床上那個年齡相仿的女人雙眼閉著在休息，只輕拉起她的被單替她蓋好，並輕撫她的頭髮、輕握她的手。然後，那個女人睜開眼，只是微微的笑，再繼續閉上眼休息。

好令我羨慕、好溫馨、好浪漫的一幕。不管他們是什麼關係，這一刻，好美。

i agree with that!

went to two church

Today is a special day. i went to two services today.
actually sometimes i do feel tired having to always meet others and concern about others.
I guess it is the corrupted nature of me that always wanting a sense of being loved by someone. That is why being single, i do always wish that somebody who really cares and loves me is with me. I will always be comforted when i focus on Jesus. Every morning, i think i need that kind of sense to continue to love others. There are times when i loose sight, that is when i became emotional and treated my friends bad.

I guess i learned a lot at church today. I learned from the conversation with friends and also from meditation over God's promises in the bible and thanksgiving to God. And, i am really glad that i prayed a lot today too.